WontonBlog

Isn’t there a law against this?

I’ve become the target of character assassination.

I created the alias MrWonton years upon years ago, and at the time, I was the only one. At the time ICQ (I still remember my number, 6686654) reigned supreme in the IM world. Then came AOL Instant Messenger. It took me a long time to make the switch, but I finally did, only to discover, to my horror, that someone else had taken the name MrWonton. Oh well, I just replaced the o’s with zeros and wrote it off.

Over the years, more than a few of my friends have at one point accidentally began talking to the other MrWonton on AIM. Without fail, every female who has done this has been hit on, and has come to me to figure out whats going on (this happened to a friend of mine who is a lesbian who was particularly confused). While this has been an annoyance, I took comfort in the fact that, at least according to the most cursory google search, we ran in different circles… that is, until today.

Mostly out of curiosity for where this site would pop up on the web, I searched for my pseudonym on google. After this site and some random /. article I’ve commented on was something I’d never seen before. Something called “Conservative Punk Forum.” From what I’d seen in the past, the other MrWonton was much more securely interested in getting some ass from a random chick on the internet than he was in politics, and I knew I hadn’t suddenly become interested in starting flame wars on conservative forums, so naturally my interests were piqued.

What I found was something I hoped would never happen: another MrWonton had entered the world, and he was an annoying 15 year old conservative! Here’s a gem from the imposter: “I may be 15 but I know more about politics than the average 50 year old.” Oh ho! His modesty overwhelms me. But wait, theres more! Check out this insight: “Teachers will always be mainly Liberals because Democrats are so obsessed with pleasing teacher’s unions.” Ahhh yes. Of course. I wondered why the teachers were liberals. I should have known that somehow it was due to the democrats’ obsession with pleasing teacher unions? Excuse me while I digest the tripe from this obvious doctiloquent.

The possible character assassinating repercussions of this unfortunate name collision almost entice me into switching to an alternate name, and I would had I not developed this site and had so long to grow attached. On the positive side, I probably don’t have to worry about him hitting on my friends, as I like to think they can differentiate my occasionally witty banter from his obviously pompous ass-hattery.

Alright, that rant aside, I plan on soon converting the layout of this site into standards compliant CSS. For those of you unfortunate enough to be using Internet Explorer (not that the new layout will necessarily not function relatively correctly for you), I’d recommend making the switch.